Sunday, July 17, 2011

is true love for real?


     I mean the kind where fireworks are forever?  I've watched so many people have their heart broken it makes me wonder, where will I be five years from now? Ten? Twenty?  I feel like if it can happen to the people I love the most, it can happen to anyone... including me.

It's strange how the world can change the perception of my own relationship.

     I mean, I love Joel... obviously not the same way when I was fifteen, but I love him.  When we were fifteen we thought we'd just die without each other, now it's a mature love.  I love the man I dated, the man I married, and the man who I had a child with, and the man he is today.  All different people.  We all change... it's just a fact of life.

    Mature Love, I think is the kind where you make a choice, it's not always so easy.  And I know if anything ever happened to one of us, the other would carry on, it would be difficult, heart-breaking, but we would... number one because we have a child together and we would have to.

     It probably doesn't help I've been reading several books "Something Borrowed" "Something Blue".... they are stories about being in love with the wrong person.  They talk about finding"true love."

     What is true love?  I don't believe in fireworks forever.  I believe in fireworks at first, and then they come and go throughout your relationship and it takes effort and work.  Love is not just a feeling but an action, and the more you give, the more you'll get back.  Least that's what I think.

     I feel like many relationships in this world are turning into all about taking.  Me Me Me... I know I need to give more.  I think we all do.  I also believe in realistic love- the kind where you take out the trash for your spouse, make dinner, stuff like that.  Actions speak louder than words.

My heart is aching for the people I love right now.

     Joel probably wouldn't approve of this post.  But I'm not going to post it on my facebook, if you read my blog regularly then you'll find this on your own.  This is my place to be me, and this has been on my mind constantly.  It's killing me.

     This post makes me feel better, I guess mainly because I've come to the conclusion any relationship can crumble, and it crumbles when you stop trying.  When you don't choose love.  When you stop giving.  When you stop caring.  Marriage is work.  And I believe you can fall in and out of love several times throughout your marriage.  It's just something I believe.

So "true love"... I think is a choice.

I hope I always choose love, and I hope Joel always does too...

4 comments:

  1. I agree that true love is a choice. It's funny that you posted this because we just had a little rough patch (one of those periods of time where you really have to work...it isn't coming as easily). And it was really the first time I realized that I WAS making a choice to be in love - it wasn't just happening...it kind of made me sad at first, especially compared to the crazy, automatic, out of control love we had 4 1/2 years ago. it does take work and also faith that who you love will always be willing to work too, but mature love is just as great, i think. it's nice to know someone else is questioning, though.

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  2. :)

    I think it's sad for everyone when you first realize it's a choice sometimes... you have a different type of love with time, and you're right mature love is just as great, and more dependable! lol

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  3. I just wanted to tell you that I love this post! It's one of those things that people think about, but are too afraid to say it out loud. No relationship is perfect, they all require work and dedication. Sometimes I wish that Keegan and I were still crazy, head over heels in love 24/7 like we used to be. But I think now when we do have those "moments" when even just for a second I feel that feeling again it makes it even more special and makes me realize why we are together. It's kind of like that quote "For without pain, there can be no pleasure. Without sadness, there can be no happiness. Without misery there can be no beauty. And without these, life is endless, hopeless, doomed and damned." If our relationships were like that all the time, we would take them for granted and never realize how good they really are.

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  4. Totally agree, and I'm glad you're blogging again. :-)

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