Sunday, August 28, 2011

small steps towards the person I want to be...

I want to be healthy, and right now I'm using food as a crutch in stressful situations.  I decided that when a small step is missed it can effect my whole day, like not enough sleep.  So I've decided to come up with a few small steps to keep me on track.

1.) Go to bed by 10:00pm every night.
That means lights out, with concentrated effort and eyes shut.  It sounds very strict to me, considering I stay up sometimes until 2am chatting with Joel and working.

2.) Water at every meal.
No matter what I'm drinking, I need to have a glass of ice water with it.  I think I don't drink enough, and this step should be pretty easy considering I only drink milk or water normally.

3.)  Exercise 30 minutes daily.
I never keep up with my goals, but I think making it a daily goal will help keep it a habit.  I'm not good with the on one day/ off another.  I'm going to think about a Y membership as well.  I hope to keep it to a morning routine after my good night's rest!  Hopefully I can rise before Joel and Jack so it won't effect my schedule or theirs much.

4.) Take 20 minutes each day to think about the health steps I want to take and where I want to be and read up on it.

And that's it for now.  I think although small, these steps will make a big impact on my health and help me make more wise decisions daily.  And really, I think these are somewhat tough rules to follow, so in the meantime, they will be my major focus.

Here's to a healthier me!  Any health tips appreciated :)

Sunday, August 14, 2011


Today is my birthday.  

24 years old
{this, obviously, is not me, I just liked the image from flickr}

And it's been a great birthday, I love my family so much.  They are my everything. 

I asked Joel for two things this year, a poem... and a song :)
I wanted an original poem written by him, and any song he thought I'd like.

He wrote me this today... 

"Oh! Olivia I love you so"

Olivia you are the best
You have a really nice chest

Oh! Olivia I love you so
But I really do hate your toe
(I had a mole removed from my toe and the healing process has been quite gross, lol)

I can't believe you're twenty-four
Hopefully I'll see a hundred more

Thank you for my baby Jack
I would never take anything back

I really do dislike your cat
I want to hit her with a bat

So happy birthday to my wife
I hope you like this and we do not fight

Oh! Olivia I love you so
But I really do hate your toe

And he sang me the song, "If I were a carpenter" 
by Johnny Cash & June Carter

I especially loved the parts he sang by June... 
he always makes me laugh :)

If I were a carpenter
And you were a lady,
Would you marry me anyway?
Would you have my baby?

If a tinker were my trade
would you still find me,
Carrying the pots I made,
Following behind me.

Save my love through loneliness,
Save my love for sorrow,
I'm given you my onliness,
Come give your tomorrow.

If I worked my hands in wood,
Would you still love me?
Answer me babe, "Yes I would,
I'll put you above me."

If I were a miller
at a mill wheel grinding,
would you miss your color box,
and your soft shoe shining?

If I were a carpenter
and you were a lady,
Would you marry me anyway?
Would you have my baby?
Would you marry anyway?
Would you have my baby?

Joel did not disappoint, I love him so much.

on the eve of my 24th

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

I'm breaking my promise.

I promised myself I wouldn't be that person who blogged about my weight anymore.  I decided to let go of that struggle.

I didn't want the chronicles of my life to involve this struggle.  I don't want people to associate me with a struggle with weight loss.

But it is who I am.  It is a struggle I deal with daily.  It is a part of me.  I feel like it's like an alcoholic blogging and ignoring their biggest struggle in life.  It seems wrong.  Almost fake.

So this is me saying I have a problem.  A problem most Americans do face.  I'm slowly killing myself.  That is my reality.  And if I don't fix this now, I will end up having a heart attack, stroke, diabetes or cancer.

I feel like a horrible example to Jack.  I want more for him.  I don't want to pass my struggle onto him.

My whole life I have struggled with weight issues.  In high school, I lost a huge amount of weight, only to gain it back when I got married.

Since I had Jack my weight has went up and down and it fluctuates not by single digits but by 10lbs or more constantly.  It is consuming.  It is always in the back of my mind.

I want to win this battle.  I want to be the role-model I need to be.  I need to hold myself accountable, and I know it's a lifestyle change I have to make.  It's going to rock every aspect of our life.

So this is me saying I want better for us.

I don't want to blog about this, it's embarrassing, but I think holding myself accountable like this is a huge step in the right direction.

Change is good.

I'll be blogging occasionally on this subject.  Just bare with me...


"It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver."
-Mohandas Gandhi 
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