Thursday, January 12, 2012

I was hoping to write this post one day.

A lot of my posts from December are encrypted with worry and doubt...

Subconscious
she's all laid up in bed with a broken heart...

I wrote these when I knew we were pregnant, but I didn't know if it was another ectopic pregnancy.

Everything was happening as it did last time; negative pregnancy tests and then positive the next week.  I wanted so badly to just talk it out, but Joel's not the talking type when he's genuinely upset.  We were both hurting.  We were keeping it a secret too so it was extra hard.  Why do we do this to ourselves?

The thought of another day like this, killed me.

I posted this music video when I really needed him, but I didn't know how to say it...


I was in the bedroom when I heard him play the video.  I heard him slowly get up and come into our room, and he gave me a hug and I just sobbed.  It was exactly what I needed.  God, just writing it here makes me cry.  It was everything I needed.

Now here we are around four or five blood tests and two ultrasounds later... with a normal pregnancy.  I have morning sickness like a mother (pun intended) so I know my body is doing what it's suppose to.

We can finally stop holding our breath...

4 comments:

  1. oh olivia, i'm SO happy to read your very happy, wonderful news!!
    CONGRATULATIONS to you and your family!!

    (i love that song!)

    wishing you a beautiful pregnancy <3
    xoxoxo
    maria

    ReplyDelete
  2. So happy for you and your family, Olivia! Jack and this new little one are blessed and lucky to have such an amazing mama :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Thank you so much Maria, you have always been a huge support to me.

    And Jennifer thank you, you are very sweet!

    ReplyDelete
  4. <3 this made me cry <3 I pray for you and Joel a wonderful 30 more weeks! Just remember to breath! Smell the pizza... blow out the candles ;)
    <3
    Anthony and the 4 chick..ita bananas

    ReplyDelete

"Perhaps you will forget tomorrow the kind words you say today, but the recipient may cherish them over a lifetime." -Dale Carnegie

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