Sunday, January 29, 2012

Why are you having another baby if you hate being pregnant so much?

Yes I have been asked this.

It's like asking a student, why are you getting a college degree if you hate going to school so much?  It's what comes at the end that is worth it.

Kind of a silly question isn't it?  And who said you had to enjoy being pregnant?

I'm just that student that has to study extra hard... it doesn't come so easily to me.


  1. olivia, my heart is breaking for you. everything you're saying is all too familiar- and i'm not sure if you knew this or not, but i know exactly what you're going through. with both luca and adele, i threw up from week six to week 39. no kidding. in that first trimester, especially, there were days when i would hang my head of the toilet, throw up, and think, "i am never going to get up off this floor- i think i'll die right here." i know it sounds dramatic, but you know that feeling and it's real. and it hurts. i had the guild as my two year old luca ran around, tore the house apart and watched episode after episode of caillou and oswald because i couldn't hold my head up. luca lived on peanut butter, milk and fruit snacks for about 4 months. i had home healthcare and an iv set up in my living room. i was on a zofran pump, oral phenergan and benadryl just to keep a little something in my system.
    i'm telling you this, most definitely not to make it sound that i had it as bad/worse than you-- but because i understand and i feel for you. i know the guilt. the fear. the pain and i'm so sorry you're going through it. some of us are not good pregnant people- that is an understatement, no? and that's okay. we're good moms. you're a good mom. and you're doing your best. jack will be just fine. joel will be just fine. things will be topsy turvy for a few weeks, maybe even months. but you will get through it and you will have a beautiful baby to hold in your arms at the end of it all. there's no rule that you have to take cutesy maternity pictures and be happy and cheery- sometimes, being pregnant sucks. and it hurts. and it's miserable. and that's okay. you're a strong person and a good mom, and it will get better. take it day by day- better yet, hour by hour. and if you need anything, i'm here.

  2. Thank you Allison. I remember reading that you were extremely sick with Adele, I didn't know how sick though.

    You made me cry... good tears though, I just feel so guilty and reading your words helped lift some weight off my shoulders.

  3. You guys both made me cry as well. I am now in my 31st week of feeling miserable... uncomfortable, puking, lack of energy, terrible sinus congestion and every other unfortunate pregnancy symptom the books list. I had about 2 good weeks prior to this one and thought for sure that maybe my time was up. Maybe the next ten weeks will go smooth and I'll have some reprieve before being thrown into the emotional turmoil of labor, delivery and adjusting to a newborn and second child. But no, everything returned with a vengeance, and this time I can't find the strength to face it. I cried myself to sleep last night because I felt like such a failure and, much like you said Olivia, an awful mother.

    I'm glad I got on here to read your recent blogs and Allison's comment because they have really encouraged me. Even though I know it's likely I'll continue to be sick and miserable for the remainder of this pregnancy, at least I know I'm not alone. There's a certain strength in knowing SOMEONE understands, especially when I am confronted daily with the most positive, peppy pregnant lady you can imagine who has NO idea what it's like to have your head in a toilet four to six time a day or to sit in the ER and wonder what the hell you were thinking when you decided to "try again." Allison - I appreciate your honest, encouragement and words of encouragement. Olivia - we're in this together... you pray for me and I'll pray for you :)

  4. And it should say "Allison - I appreciate your honesty, shared strength and words of encouragement." I obviously suffer from pregnancy brain as well :|

  5. Cass, reading that you cried yourself to sleep last night made me cry again... because I just got home from the grocery store and the entire way home I just sobbed... I didn't get anything on my list except a new toothbrush and deodorant because I was sure I was going to lose my dinner (a whole piece of toast and fruit!) in an isle. I turned up the radio just loud enough so Jack wouldn't notice I was crying... and I took the extra long route home so I had enough time to just let it out.

    Hugs to you, and it is so comforting knowing someone REALLY does understand... hang in there, you are so close to the finish line and I am ridiculously jealous :) We will get through this! Thank God there is an end in sight.

    Thanks Cass & Allison for sharing... I really really needed this.

    Oh, Cass, what is your blog url again if you don't mind? I only got to read a few posts when you shared them on facebook a long time ago.

  6. it is SO worth it! you tell em'! whenever i hear those type of ?s, i want to scream.
    i can relate...people used to ask me when steve and i would try again, why we would even bother if it meant another possible loss. i thought, wow, you really have not a idea what it's like.
    and i think that's the problem...
    people think they know, when really they haven't a clue :)

    you keep on keepin' on, olivia!!
    wishing you brighter days <3

  7. Unfortunately, I quit blogging once we moved back to Ohio. I got lost in the unpacking and it kind of fell to the wayside. Several people have told me I should pick it back up. One.of.these.days. :) Sooner than later hopefully.


"Perhaps you will forget tomorrow the kind words you say today, but the recipient may cherish them over a lifetime." -Dale Carnegie

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