Today we played outside. It was chilly, and you begged to wear your black, chuck shoes. You use to call them your "dancing shoes"... your Dad and I honestly don't know why. You prefer them over your spiderman shoes. It's pretty shocking.
Anyways, fast forward through our walk to the mailbox... afterward, I was sitting on the wood steps outside, and you were riding your bike. I wanted to show you some love, so I walked over and hugged you from behind, and gave you a kiss and told you that I loved you.
You took it all in and as I walked back to where I was sitting, you followed on your bike. You came up and told me that you loved me too and kissed me. And I knew you meant every word because whenever you mean what you say, you get this look... your eyes go soft and you smile without showing your teeth. You're patient, and slow when you deliver the words and you sometimes touch the person's face you're speaking to.
I've seen you do this to other family members... it's rare and I'm not sure they know your small hand on the side of their cheek means you're speaking from your heart.
Then you sat down next to me and told me you wanted to pick a flower for me.
You do this a lot to show your love too. Even in the super market when I mention how beautiful the flowers are, you get this look and say... "Mom, you want some flowers? I get you some!" And normally, I have enough time to tell you I don't need any, but sometimes you are so determined to warm my heart that you pick a flower from the closest bouquet. I normally stuff the flower back into the bouquet like nothing happened and quickly wheel our cart in the opposite direction with a hidden smile on my face.
So, you stood up and started up the stairs to the front yard to find a flower, but half-way through the staircase you turned around and said these words...
Jack: "Mommy... I'm a good boy."
Me: "Yes you are a good boy."
Jack: "I'm big. I can shoot zombies now."
Me: "I know you can Jack."
Jack: "I could save Mommy and Daddy."
And I seriously started to cry... because you said it in your, "I love you" language. You really meant that you would save us if you could.
And as silly as a conversation as it was, your heart was in it.
I love you so SO much Jack.