"Wherever you go, there you are."
"The door to simplicity opens itself when we actively welcome it in: this means doing less in a hurry, so we can actually experience more.
We can invite simplicity to counter the impulses to split our attention by engaging in doing one thing at a time, and, to truly show up for it.
Each day offers an opportunity to practice inviting simplicity: sharing a meal with a loved one (and really being with that person: listening carefully, cell phone away); or taking a 15-minute mindful walk and just noticing the surrounding life; or stepping outside of the office to feel the sun on our face; or simply granting ourselves the permission for non-doing – opting to have no agenda at all – for a few hours on a weekend."
-Cat Li Stevenson
There was no balancing yesterday.
It was either one kid or the other, and everything else got put on hold. Joel started back to work yesterday, officially six weeks he was home with us and I know how lucky we are that we had that time with him.
My goal yesterday was just to get through the day with love and patience while caring for both Jude and Jack, everything else could wait. I wanted to be in the moment.
We took a walk so Jack could get some energy out, while Jude slept on my chest in the moby wrap. The best of the both worlds for both boys.
I fed, changed, soothed, kissed, read, changed band-aids, decorated a pumpkin with mr. potato head stuff (a quick decorating idea from my Aunt Susie) and gave baths.
And when I thought my duties were over at 9 pm... Jude decided he still needed me. He needed to be held, to be loved and to be snuggled. So I gave myself 5 minutes of "me time" to wash my face, brush my teeth, change my clothes, all while he screamed and cried.
Then I took him in my arms, laid down in our queen size bed, breathed him in, held him close and went to sleep. I woke up an hour or two later and laid Jude in his rock n play for the night, and I went back to sleep.
Joel got home late because he helped a friend who locked his keys in his car.
He is a good man.
We had two hours together this morning until he left again for work. He held Jude most of the time, and I could tell it's killing him working second shift. We are so happy he'll be starting 1st shift soon. The rushing all around is not something we want in our lives.
I stole some "me time" today by taking full advantage of the swing and kids netflix, and I'm not going to feel guilty, I'm not going to feel guilty, I'm not going to feel guilty <--- today's mantra.
And hopefully tonight I'll be able to start into my mediation book again (I gave up entirely too early) and pick up two magazines I treated myself to in line at the store a few days back.