Sunday, July 29, 2012

35 weeks


     35 weeks and feeling great!  I'm even going to get a little crazy and throw a garage sale next weekend :)~  I've been having dreams that I have a quick and easy 15 minute birth... but let's hope it doesn't come true, the hospital we chose is an hour away!  And yesterday in the car, Jack was reading to himself and the story was about "Jude Maximus." :)  

     My gestational diabetes is still under control by diet alone, but has become even more restrictive.  The farther along you are, the more stress is put on your body and the diabetes becomes a bit harder to control.  So that's where we are- and I've made the necessary changes.  It's so odd how even though I stay below my carb allowance, my body can barely tolerate bread and I have to eat my carbs in fruit/milk.  I feel hungry a lot, and I'm a bit more crabby, but my energy is through the roof and I'm sleeping great.  I also weigh less now, than before I was pregnant.  It's crazy, but I was told it's okay and normal.  For awhile it felt like I was going in reverse, but now I can tell my baby belly is growing again.  And I have this nagging feeling I may have had diabetes before this pregnancy, I cannot stress enough how different and great I feel since changing my diet, so I'm kind of preparing myself mentally that this may not go away after birth. 

     I'll be honest and admit I slipped up once this past week. I had a rough day, missed lunch because of circumstances out of my control, and didn't get a chance to eat until 5pm (when my willpower was low and I was starving).  I went through McDonalds drive through and got myself a small caramel frapp.  And it was so not worth it.  I felt awful, and my blood sugar didn't go back to normal until four hours later.  Lesson learned.  I also realized the way I felt afterwards matched how I felt during most of the beginning of this pregnancy before being diagnosed.  It also opened my eyes to how just a simple frapp packs so much sugar/carbs... holy cow those are horrible for you!  I am looking forward to the day I can treat myself occasionally, I view food so differently these days.  Eating is like taking a shower now, a chore... well never-mind, a hot shower is pretty amazing these days!  I guess it's more like doing dishes.

     I have a to-do list that is a mile long, but I'm not stressed over it.  All my work for the business is caught up and I can finally assume "maternity leave" status soon.  I feel like within the next week a lot should get accomplished.  We stocked up on plastic cups and paper plates for the first two weeks, I bought all the ingredients for our cloth diaper detergent yesterday, I have to prep our diapers (that's when you wash them a few times to increase their absorbency), get Jude's room organized, pack my hospital bag and then of course get stuff ready to go for the garage sale... oh and order the last of my client's products and get them shipped out (which will be done tonight! woo!). 

     I feel good, really good. <--- and I never thought I'd say those words while pregnant.  I am anything but a "pregnancy unicorn."  
I feel ready... and I'm pretty excited :) 

Okay guys... I'm off to shower and get ready for my date night with Joel.  We're seeing the new batman movie :) 


All my "bump" shots throughout this pregnancy.

Monday, July 23, 2012

I'm still looking up

I'm not one to post much about my relationship with Joel, because that's just who we are as a couple- private in our thoughts and love.  I have wanted to write about us several times but the words before now just never felt right, they didn't do us justice.

A little background... Joel proposed late at night at a skate park... where we had our first date when I was 15.  And a few years before that, we were at that same park for a gift I wanted to give him.  I made him climb up the giant half-pipe with me in the dark and we held hands and I told him to look up.

I told him one of the ways I knew God was real was because of the night's sky.  Then I told him it's the same when I look at him, because when I look at him I just know love is real.

Then I gave him a ring with the words "my sky" engraved on the inside.

Today, on the way home from a baby appointment I heard Jason Mraz's song, "I won't give up" and I'm pretty sure it was made just for us.

Happy almost five years babe :)


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Sunday, July 22, 2012

An update, our cloth diapers and more...

I'm 34 weeks pregnant.  I had Jack at 37 weeks.  That's less than three weeks away.... crazyyy.

I'm feeling a bit more prepared and have actually purchased our cloth diapers, a new sit and stand stroller for the boys, and a new carseat.  I haven't touched the baby's room and I'm not sure I'm going to tackle that before he comes... I just don't feel the urgency.  I'm going to keep it pretty simple anyways.  That's the theme we're going for these days.  

So, I promised I'd fill you in on our cloth diaper stash... 

Here it is... TA DA! 

I decided to go with the Flip diapers system, which is made by the same people (Cotton Babies) who also make the leading Bum Genius cloth diapers. 

I did a ridiculous amount of research, and a million reviews and decided this diapering system is best for us because of the price, style, trimness, ease and the fact that I have chunky babies.  I also wanted a diaper that would grow with us, so basically... this is it until Jude starts potty training.

Here's our stash:
12 Flip Diaper Covers 
36 Stay-Dry Inserts (I didn't include all the inserts in this photo, only four are actually pictured above)
3 Small Hemp Babies Diaper Doublers (for extra over-night protection if he's a heavy wetter)
1 medium Planet Wise Wetbag (for the diaper bag so we can use cloth on the go, it's waterproof)
1 Bum Genius Diaper Sprayer
1 Tube of Grandma El's Diaper Rash Remedy & Prevention (You cannot use regular diaper rash cream with cloth)
1 Elite FuzziBunz Diaper (It was free because of the amount of money I spent)

Total Amount spent for cloth diapering: $322.21

(I did massive research and found a lot of great offers for "buy 1, get one free" free shipping and a percentage off my orders.  I bought everything from cottonbabies.com and kellyscloset.com.) 

Obviously I may need to purchase more diaper rash cream in the future, but that's basically it.  Oh, and my cloth diapering friend said I NEED a diaper pale liner, so that's next on my list of things to get, it's around $16 and I'll probably buy two (if one is in the wash, one can still be in use). 

So, if you're still a bit confused on cloth diapers... here's our system spelled out for you.  

1. Grab a Diaper Cover
2. Place the Stay Dry Insert Inside
3. Snap on Baby 
4. After baby "goes" remove dirty insert and place in diaper pale (or spray first if needed)
5. REUSE cover if not soiled and place new Stay Dry Insert inside (they say 1 diaper cover should last through 3 inserts/changes)

And here's our diapers with all the fancy labels... 

Here is an image showing how they will grow with baby over the years... 

Here is an image showing you the "shell" or diaper cover...



And here is the insert explained...


Here are some photos I snapped of the shell & insert so you can see inside of the diaper... 




That's basically it.  The amount of diapers we bought should last us up to three days before we have to do laundry, but I plan on washing every other day.  

The wash routine goes like this:
Take your diaper pale liner that's full and dump everything into the washing machine, turn the liner inside out and throw in with the diapers:
1 wash cold 
1 wash hot, extra rinse

You should line dry covers, and throw inserts into the dryer.  You can bleach the inserts once a month, and sun them to help get rid of stains.

You also need special laundry detergent because using "soap" and other enzymes will cause build-up in your diapers which results in "barnyard smell" or ammonia stink, and then you have to "strip" your diapers... which means a lot of extra washing and rinsing to get them back to normal.  *We use calgon and Tide original.  I've stripped twice so far. 

So I think that's it for the cloth diapers explained :)  Hopefully it wasn't too confusing.  There is a lot to know about cloth diapers! 

Some images in this post are from Flip's Website, found HERE. 

Monday, July 16, 2012

Baby Shower

This past Saturday my sisters and Mom threw me a shower to celebrate Jude.  A bunch of family and friends together in one place celebrating our little boy made us feel really special and loved.

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 I let myself off the hook for a night and enjoyed the food... and the cake- I was SO in heaven and a bit on a sugar high ;)

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There were games, and wishes and hopes for Jude... some serious, some not.  I read a few "I hope you... have a baby sister."  Very funny guys ;) 

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My sister really went out of her way getting some beautiful centerpieces from a local flower shop and made these pom poms below. 

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Everyone was so generous, and some even made a few homemade gifts...

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My cousin, Emily, made these for little Jude... girl's got talent!  I am so excited to shove him in these for a photoshoot :)

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She even made Jack a zombie hat.  She knows us well. 

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And my bff, Jess, made me cloth wipes... she's the one who basically introduced me to cloth diapering.  And I totally gave her the side-eye at first.

(By the way, I bought my cloth diaper stash!  We are officially doing this.  I will post later with all the details.  And if you got me disposable diapers at the shower, no worries our little man will need them in the first couple months as he has to grow into the cloth diapers.)

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The guys made an appearance towards the end of the shower. 

My friend, Jess also lives pretty far away so she and her family stayed the night with us after the shower... and the following morning I did their engagement/family photos.

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Oh and Aunt Debbie?  You are currently my favorite person, Jack has been busy playing with that balloon rocket launcher for a good solid 24 hours now.  Best. Purchase. Ever.

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This kid is so ready to be a big brother! :)

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It was an awesome weekend... thanks again Jessica, Lynnette and Mom.  I love you.

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(my sisters Jessica & Lynnette, me and Mom)

Sunday, July 8, 2012

three weeks

Today marks three weeks of my hardcore gestational diabetes diet.  The worst thing I've ate?  A single bite of the most delicious wedding cake I've ever had.  Of course my brother-in-law disagreed about it being the most delicious and I reminded him I really hadn't had sugar in three weeks.  Then I stared at the piece of cake... and said out loud, "hmm... since the server put it right in front of me, I guess I have to eat it?"  No one said anything.  Then I laughed and said, "How horrible would it be?"  Then my sister suggested eating just half... she is such a good sister, haha.  I then decided I couldn't do it, I've worked too hard and come too far.  I asked her to hide the piece of cake from me.  She gladly slid it to the other side of the table.  

I'm not going to lie, I thought about that piece of cake all night.

Besides that piece of cake, this diet is getting easier.

It's almost a hardcore habit and I'm so happy about that.  Obviously I will be put into hard situations like the wedding cake that was squarely placed in front of me by someone who doesn't know I can't eat it.  And today I got a little upset when Joel mentioned wanting to eat dinner at MayFlowers while we were in town (our favorite Chinese restaurant in the entire world) and I thought long and hard about it.  But everything that I would have consumed would have been pushing it, even with portion control.  I'm still scared to eat out, and really- I can't.  Not without knowing the real carb numbers spelled out.  You cannot eye something and know the nutritional information, you just can't.

Joel was crushed.  I was crushed.  I made us all a healthy dinner back at home.

Aside from those two difficult situations, I feel good about what I'm putting in my body.  I can't stress enough how awesome I feel since starting this diet.  I am 32 weeks pregnant and my only complaint is back pain.  It's actually strange to me when someone asks, "How are you feeling?"  The first words out of my mouth are, "Great, I really feel good."  I use to rattle off a whole list of things starting with how tired I was.

You are what you eat.

That being said, I'm not exactly happy that my blog is a food blog right now... but that is my life in this moment.  I poke my finger and test my blood four times a day.  I sit down at a computer and type in foods before I put them in my mouth to make sure the numbers are exactly where they need to be.  I have a food log that dates back three weeks, incase I get a high blood sugar reading and I can go back and see why, or my doctors if they request it.  Six times a day I have to ask myself what would be the healthiest option for meals and snacks.

It's my life right now.

And as much I want to carry this diet with me forever, it will be so freeing to able to go to a wedding and let myself enjoy a single piece of cake!

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

a new relationship with food


     I've officially been on the gestational diabetes diet now for a little over two weeks and I have followed it hardcore.  I'm talking all healthy foods, the worse thing I've ate is turkey lunch-meat and ovaltine.  And I probably went over my carb allowance once at a wedding I photographed this past weekend.  I blame the caterer, he gave me a huge heaping of mashed potatoes and they were staring at me and I couldn't help myself.  They were divine.

     This is the healthiest I've eaten since I can remember when.  Obviously I could eat small portions of bad things like ice cream if I really wanted to, but honestly- that sounds like pure torture.  I decided from day one if I was going to do this I was going to do this right.

     My diabetes counselor took a look at my diet from the first week and told me it was perfect, she was really impressed with my googled knowledge and even said I could eat more carbs and calories if I wanted to.  I left the center feeling really good about things.

     It's been hard though.  At first I was a little bitter.  This whole pregnancy I had been looking forward to fair food, ha!  An elephant ear, lemon shake-up... you name it.  It's pretty much shot to hell.  And the best part about being pregnant in the hot summer?  A yummy milkshake... yeah- no more of that!  I felt really deprived and a bit sorry for myself.  No more treats.  And I have been avoiding eating out.  Right now I don't feel confident enough to do that.

     It's been easy when it comes to feeding Jack because the kid has always ate healthy, he eats basically everything I do, even salads.  Joel is another story.  He has actually been my biggest challenge.

     I've felt a shift in my relationship with food.  I see now why we have cake at birthdays and why sweets should be reserved for very limited, special occasions.  I was living like everyday is Christmas.  My diet was very poor.  I wasn't eating enough, and what I was eating was very high in sugar.  Cereals for breakfast, jams, bread, pasta dishes, etc.  I have had more energy in the past two weeks than I can remember when.  That being said, tomorrow is the 4th and Saturday I have a wedding to go to and I have more anxiety about the food than I should.  I will probably eat before the cookout tomorrow and obviously be mindful at the wedding.

     This whole experience has really opened my eyes to how food is used in society, it is very much the center of socialization in America.  It doesn't make things easy.  But with time comes the comfort of habit.  Once I get this down to a habit it will be so much easier.  I'm halfway there.  30 days is the goal to make something a habit... do something 30 times and it will be hard to break away from it.

     I can do this!

     I also read some wise words from someone else who is currently going through this... she said it's okay to be angry, but don't let your anger blind you to the fact that you are being given a chance to completely start over.
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