Tuesday, January 22, 2013

quiet moments

Dear Jack,

     Tonight, after I laid in your bed watching while you put on a small dance show with Rudolph in your doorway, I read you the book, "Wherever You Are, My Love Will Find You."

After I read the book and sang "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" and "You Are My Sunshine"... you started to ask me questions about the person who was lost in the book.

I tried to explain it's not about being lost, it's just about going through life and knowing my love is always with you.

I told you love is magical.

I told you my love is in your heart wherever you are... like at karate, in the car with Daddy, when you're at Grandma's house, when you're at the grocery store... it's always there (as I touched your chest and tapped where your heart is).

Then you said, "Or like at the zoo by the polar bears."

And I laughed and agreed at your randomness.

Then I stopped laughing and realized you were recalling a memory I had forgot...

We were at the zoo last Spring by the polar bears watching them swim and play when I looked down and realized you had wondered off.

I started to scream your name.

My heart was pounding.

I started to run down the polar bear exhibit yelling for you, when someone pointed to a little boy... alone, by the ramp to the lower level, crying.

I hugged you and hugged you, and hugged you and tried not to cry.

My heart aches just remembering.

Love will give you some really intense memories.

I told you, "Yes, just like at the zoo when we lost each other.  My love will find you."

Oh Jack, if it weren't for the rare quiet moments we share at bedtime... I would miss so much of your love.

And I almost forgot... after we talked about the memory of being lost, you said, "And remember Zoie said the polar bear was pooping.  And he was.  And it broke apart."

You always make me laugh.

And yes, we did see a polar bear pooping and it broke apart in the water right above our heads.

I told you, "You are so funny."

And you said, "Yes I'm so funny" which made me laugh even harder.

After our giggling had settled down you told me you wanted to make me a present (one of the many ways you show love) and I told you what I really love the best are your hugs.

So you hugged me.  A good solid hug with kisses.

                               You're my favorite Jack in the whole wide world and my love will always find you,
                                                                                       Mommy

4 comments:

  1. Crying :*) this was so beautiful. My friend gave that book to me last year while we were still on our journey, unsure of what road we were taking next. I have it in the nursery and cry every time I read it. Jack is so awesome...it amazes me what children remember...how big their hearts are...how much they hold on to at such a young age. So touching he mentioned what happened at the zoo...and so so funny and cute he didn't forget the polar bear poop breaking apart. Lol! Your relationship with him is beautiful! Xoxox
    Maria

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    1. Thanks Maria :)
      And that book sooo tugs on those heart strings! Can't wait for you to read it to your little baby girl ;)

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  2. straight to my heart. love this :) if only every mother loved their children as much as you do, this world would be a much better place.

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    1. Thanks Allison, that's one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to me :)

      And talk about loving their children, you are an amazing Mother, I think about that beautiful tattoo you got and it is so simple, yet holds so much meaning.

      I want it! ;)

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"Perhaps you will forget tomorrow the kind words you say today, but the recipient may cherish them over a lifetime." -Dale Carnegie

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