Friday, March 1, 2013

words on repeat


"2 AM and I'm still awake, writing a song
If I get it all down on paper, it's no longer inside of me,
Threatening the life it belongs to
And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd
Cause these words are my diary, screaming out loud
And I know that you'll use them, however you want to"
"Breathe" - Anna Nalick

It makes me angry that I'm awake with words echoing in my mind.  Words that should have never been spoken.  Words that you make seem harmless but they're more than that.  What they make me feel is real regardless of intentions.

I don't owe you an explanation. 

"So cradle your head in your hands... and breathe, just breathe."

I rocked my baby to bed tonight with you in mind, words on repeat. 

Words you speak shouldn't be on repeat in a person's mind.  

If they are, then you're the person who fucked up. 

"Don't be that person.  Don't shoot that dagger." - a good friend of mine referencing being the person to speak unkind words that echo in someone's mind for years. 

I need to let it go.  

I need to just breathe, and I just need to write it out... to get it out, so I can finally sleep.

4 comments:

  1. i'm so sorry someone's hurtful words kept you awake, olivia. i know sometimes it's so hard to just let it go. i've been there.
    i love that song. i used it for a blog post once. the lyrics are so wonderful. thinking of you and sending love and prayers. <3<3<3
    maria

    ReplyDelete
  2. I've been where you are, where you were last night. I had a very toxic relationship with someone for well over a year, maybe even two. The words hurt. They hurt worse than the dirty looks, the lost friendships, the time stolen away when I should have been playing with my child but instead I was crying and doubting myself because of someone else's words. All of this resulted in anger and bitterness, and a hardened heart. When I learned to forgive and understand that thief words did not define me or anything about me, I was able to let go. Words hurt. An I'm sorry. Thinking of you and sending a prayer for peace in your mind and heart.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Thanks Maria & Allison, you two are always so good to me.

    ReplyDelete

"Perhaps you will forget tomorrow the kind words you say today, but the recipient may cherish them over a lifetime." -Dale Carnegie

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