(While I'm in the bathroom Jack slowly walks in.)
Jack: "I'm sorry Mom."
(I stare at the ranch and small orange pieces all over his face and hands.)
Me: "Jackkk... what did you do?"
Jack: "I just really love carrots... so I ate them REALLY FAST like the cookie monster and now there's food everywhere."
(I'm trying hard not to laugh.)
Me: "Please don't do that again, and go wash your face."
Trying to give Jack organic milk that tastes slightly different.
Me: "Jack here's some magical milk, it's called organic and it's really good for you!"
Jack: "Does it taste like crab-legs?"
I ordered a pina colada but later caught the waiter and asked for a virgin so Jack could share with me. There was small talk of alcohol or no alcohol to clarify my order.
Jack while sipping my pina colada: "Mmmm alcohol is yummy!"
I laugh and say for anyone within ear-shot that it doesn't have alcohol in it.