Sunday, July 28, 2013

about me, but not really about me

I updated my "about me" section my photography website today.  Writing about myself does not come easily.

I talked a lot about my experience through the years, and the part that brought me back the most was the part when I mentioned how my hands always smelled like dektol in high school.  I spent every free moment and all my study halls there.

They say smell is the strongest sense tied to memory.  And that memory made me think of my photography teacher, Mr. Bentley.

He was soft spoken and kind.  I didn't really fit into my class the older I got.  After I'd finished all the photography courses, I took all the graphic arts to be able to still bug him for a roll of $2 black and white film and play around with photoshop and of course, when I had finished my work... disappear into the dark room.

I clashed with most people in my class and I kept to myself.  Photography was my passion and I had always been somewhat of an introvert.

The person who talked to me everyday was Mr. Bentley, and I remember on a particular last day of school all the other kids wanted to go outside to take their own class photo and hollered for Mr. Bentley... I hardly noticed, I was cutting mat like always and focused on the math.

He said loud enough so I could hear, "I'm not taking a picture with you guys in-less Olivia comes too."

I was annoyed.  I didn't want a picture with them.  But that smile on his face made me get up and go... I did it for him.  He wasn't just a teacher, he was my friend.

Fast forward six years...

I was out to eat with my parents, Jack and newborn Jude... when I spotted Mr. Bentley sitting a few booths in front of us with his wife.

He was smiling at my boys.  He noticed us first.

We chatted with the distance between us, and I got up later to chat with him at his table.  And before he left he stopped by our table and I got up to hug him goodbye and when I let go he put his hands softy on my face and gave me a kiss on the cheek.

If you knew Mr. Bentley, you'd know that's just him.  And it made me feel so special and I hold that memory of him so close to my heart.

That's the only time I've seen him since high school, but I hope it's not the last.

It's a sweet memory I don't want to forget.

Thursday, July 25, 2013


I love everything about this song. 

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

an old friend

An old friend flew in from Cali to visit family and got some shots with her sweet baby girl Rebel.

Here's my favorite...

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Monday, July 22, 2013

a full moon

“Before we invented civilization our ancestors lived mainly in the open out under the sky. 
Before we devised artificial lights and atmospheric pollution and modern forms of nocturnal entertainment we watched the stars. There were practical calendar reasons of course but there was more to it than that.  Even today the most jaded city dweller can be unexpectedly moved upon encountering a clear night sky studded with thousands of twinkling stars. 
When it happens to me after all these years it still takes my breath away.” 
― Carl Sagan

My Mother use to tell me when I was little the moon had a face so if someone was lonely or sad all they had to do was look up.

After dinner we drove home with the windows down, the moon was low and full.

When we all got home I took Jack with me to the top of a nearby hill and photographed the moon.  Jack ran wild in the field and begged me to let him catch lightning bugs.  After a few mosquito bites we headed home.

Did you happen to look up tonight?

Sunday, July 21, 2013


"Whatever you want in life, other people are going to want it too. 
Believe in yourself enough to accept the idea that you have an equal right to it."
-Diane Sawyer 

Saturday, July 20, 2013


I'm a work at home Mama.

And the last few weeks I've been an unhappy one.

I felt (and still do to some degree) stretched too thin in every area of my life.  There is nothing I hate more than thinking about looming deadlines as I rock my babies to sleep.  It's like people say... when you're here, you're not really here.  That was me.

When I'm with my kids, I want to be with them.  And when I'm at work, I want to be at work.

I will admit I took on too much this summer, and according to my rules and calendar I'm basically booked until November and I have to force myself to accept that.

I read a few articles tonight to help with the WAHM thing.

I hope they're as magical as the article says.  Basically I need to be an organizational neat freak... the completely opposite of who I am.  It said to get things done asap, and not to wait for a deadline and that you'll feel free for once.  I've got a lot of traits I need to ditch and several I need to pick up.

I've got a lot of work to do.

Sunday, July 7, 2013

wish you were here

so... you think you can tell... Heaven from Hell...

I've heard Pink Floyd for the past four hours... on repeat.  You'd think I was smoking weed, but no... I'm working! HA.

I chose it for the song on my new website.  It's finally complete.  The galleries still need to be uploaded but the splash page and all the plug-ins are good to go.

The "About Me" section was the hardest.  The new logo I finished in a single afternoon.  It's suppose to be like a dreamcatcher, but it's made out of several photographs stitched together.

Check it out!  I'll be redirecting my clients there soon.

Saturday, July 6, 2013

Dear Jude

Dear Jude, 
     Tonight after a bath with your brother, I held you snugly with your head on my left arm and toes to my right.  I had a bottle and a blanket for you.  That's how you relax before bed, you rub the blanket on your cheeks, over your eyes and usually leave it covering your face.  I pull it down so I can see you.  I play with your toes and look at your blond locks, they're so curly and soft.  Everyone says you look like me.
     I sang you a few songs and thought about how you're ten months old now.  You're ten months old and can barely hold a bottle yourself.  For every feeding I held you close, you never had to learn.  It makes me feel good.   
    I walked into your room today and you were standing in your crib.  You only started crawling a month ago.  You say "Da Da" a lot and "Mum."  Da Da was your first word though.
    Seeing you makes me smile, and when you lay your head on my shoulder it melts my heart.  You are my youngest child... take your time. 

                                                                                         Love you always, 

healthy oatmeal cookies

I don't share a lot of recipe here, but I'm always looking this one up for Jack so I decided to share.

We've made this recipe by Martha Stewart a few times and it's a family favorite.  Not too rich and the raisins really add to the sweetness; it's a satisfying treat.

Jack and I made the cookies tonight, but this time we followed the suggestions in the reviews and used olive oil instead of vegetable oil (olive oil has more health benefits than vegetable oil), added a dash of milk and a pinch of sea salt.  I think it's more moist and tastes just as good with the changes. 

Healthy Oatmeal Cookies

1/2 cup whole-wheat flour

1/2 cup all-purpose flour

1 teaspoon baking powder (aluminum-free)

1/3 cup olive oil

2/3 cup packed dark-brown sugar

1 large egg

1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract

1/2 cup rolled oats (not quick-cooking)

1/2 cup raisins

a dash of milk


1.) Preheat oven to 350 degrees. In a medium bowl, whisk together flours and baking powder; set aside.

2.) In a large bowl, whisk together oil, sugar, egg, and vanilla. Add flour mixture, and stir to combine; mix in oats and raisins.

3.) Using two tablespoons of dough per cookie, roll into balls; place on two baking sheets, 1 1/2 inches apart. For moist cookies, bake 14 minutes, let cool on baking sheet for 5 minutes.

4.) Enjoy! 
Jack snuggling on the couch fresh out of the tub, with his favorite blankey, eating warm oatmeal cookies and drinking a glass of cold milk.

Friday, July 5, 2013

achieving goals

I'm not scared of growing old, I'm just scared of not achieving everything that I want to do.
-Melanie Laurent 

Sometimes I envision myself old and thinking about the past.  I hope I don't have lingering regrets.  

Then I wonder, will I have the privilege to grow old?

I think setting goals is easy, but planning on how to achieve those goals and having the right attitude is the difficult part.

Maybe that's why I've been so scattered lately?  I need an action plan. 

Listing my goals here seems a bit scary, but not as scary as having regrets. 

My main goal in life is to be a kind and caring wife and mother.  

I think following your heart, listening more than talking, giving more than you take, actively practicing patience and being slow to anger is a sure way to keep peace and love within the home.  I also firmly believe being the example is the best way to teach my children. 

Growing up, I always heard how you should have the heart of a servant, but I never really understood or wanted to accept the saying until Jack was around three.  I respect the religion I was raised to believe, although I don't completely identify myself with it.  Doing things without expecting something in return is liberating.  It keeps your heart free of resentment. 

I think that's a good start, but I think I'll write out a few ways to keep peace within our home that involves more organization.  

What is goals do you have?  
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