Saturday, April 12, 2014

no yelling for a year

"There should be no yelling in the home unless, there is a fire." 
-David O. Mckay


I remember when I was newly pregnant holding a book in a discount store and thinking to myself "I'm going to be that parent."

You know, the one that doesn't YELL.

The book was called, "Scream Free Parenting."
I read the book from top to bottom and was excited to take on the challenge.

Then I had Jack, and as he slowly got older, I slowly began to yell.

I remember someone telling me, "sometimes you just need to yell."
At the time I brushed her off.
Years later I agreed.
And now I'm pretty solid in the idea that you don't need to yell.

"Words that soak into your ears are whispered -not yelled." -unknown


Even now, I'm picturing a teacher in grade school who would make a hand signal above her head when she wanted us to be quiet.  Slowly the room would become quiet as each kid caught on, while I was usually the last one talking... and then I'd notice.  No yelling involved.  A room full of 15-20 kids quieted without yelling, pretty profound huh?  Did it take patience?  Oh I'm sure, but after accomplishing her goal I bet it felt so good on the inside.

Anyways...
I remember when I put the book in our garage sale and another mom bought it.
I thought to myself, "good luck" and was happy to see it go.

I'm going through another season in my life.  A season where my children yell, and I wish they didn't.  A season where I sometimes yell at Joel and I don't like it.  A season where I sometimes yell over cries and arguing when it would be better if I just stepped into the middle and took control with my presence and soft voice.

Don't get me wrong I'm not a compulsive yeller.  I actually think our house is pretty peaceful, but when my boys fight, when I'm frustrated and I'm tired, I raise my voice, and I don't like that part of me.

I want to be better.
I want to have a more peaceful home, one where my presence is felt, not heard.
It didn't hurt that I read this today when googling "how to stop yelling."

"Raise your words, not your voice.  It is rain that grows flowers, not thunder." -Rumi

I think it's a realistic goal, and a good one to strive for.
No yelling for a year.

I'll post a few follow ups along the way.

1 comment:

  1. Best of luck to you my dear. I can't remember the last time I yelled, but then I don't have children either. I'd be willing to bet some yoga and meditation will help you with this goal. Good luck! I'm excited to read about how it goes.

    ReplyDelete

"Perhaps you will forget tomorrow the kind words you say today, but the recipient may cherish them over a lifetime." -Dale Carnegie

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