Tuesday, May 13, 2014


“Normal is getting dressed in clothes that you buy for work and driving through traffic in a car that you are still paying for - in order to get to the job you need to pay for the clothes and the car, and the house you leave vacant all day so you can afford to live in it.” 
― Ellen Goodman

I'm going through a phase.

The one where you get rid of a bunch of shit.

Toys, clothes, things... we either love it or need it or it goes.  We need this right now.  If we're going to homeschool, if I'm going to be healthy, if we're going to be happy- we need this.  

When I find myself thinking how I want something, I redirect my thoughts to the things I already have.  I chose gratefulness and remind myself that things do not bring me happiness.  Such a contrast from the typical American mindset.

It's liberating.  The actual letting go part and the mindfulness of choosing experiences over materialism.
But we are struggling with a different type of materialism and that's the fast food, eating out materialism.  It's expensive and unhealthy.  Thinking about doing a 30 day challenge.  I bet I could do it.

“The reason many people in our society are miserable, sick, and highly stressed is because of an unhealthy attachment to things they have no control over.” 
-Steve Maraboli

Saturday, May 10, 2014

death surrounds us

For whatever reason, death is surrounding our family.  Circling us.  We have another funeral Monday.

While cleaning I looked up at my 100 year old photograph.  The one I bought two summer's ago because it reminded me of Mr. Bentley's photo that he's in twice.

It caught me off guard, and when someone asks about it, I think of you.  Your kindness.  Your gentleness.  The way you made everyone feel like somebody.  I think of the last time I saw you and it makes me cry.

I am so happy a new life is growing in my sister.  Sweet baby, Aria, you are hope for us all.  The reminder that tomorrow is a new day.  That the world goes on.  That death and life are both very much a part of our lives, and we need to accept death as we accept life.

It is a fact, we will all die one day.
I am so happy that my last memory of you is of nothing but kindness and love.

Thinking of you today with a bit of a heavy heart.
I know you are happy and at peace, it always came so naturally to you,
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